Wedding Ceremony Vows: Crafting the Most Important Words You’ll Ever Say
When I meet with engaged couples to discuss their upcoming nuptials, one of the most important conversations we have is about their wedding ceremony vows. As a civil wedding celebrant, I consider the vows to be the highlight of any wedding ceremony. These carefully chosen words capture a couple’s commitment, hopes, and dreams for their marriage.
In my experience, I’ve found that taking the time to create meaningful, personal vows results in a more emotional, intimate, and memorable experience for the couple and their guests. In this blog post, I’ll offer my best advice on crafting wedding ceremony vows that truly express your unique love story.
The Significance of Wedding Vows
Wedding ceremony vows have been a central part of marriage rituals across cultures for thousands of years. The words serve as a verbal contract and public declaration of devotion between the couple. Vows are perhaps the most important part of the ceremony, so it’s crucial to put thought and effort into writing vows that feel authentic and heartfelt.
Traditionally, wedding vows covered three key promises - to honour, comfort, and keep one another. Modern vows can include anything important to the couple, from pledges of partnership to expressions of affection. The content and structure of your vows should align with your values and beliefs about marriage.
Bride Vows vs Groom Vows
Historically, bride and groom vows were identical. But over the past few decades, many couples have started expressing their pledges in individually tailored vows.
There’s no right or wrong way to approach wedding vows. Some couples prefer to stick to matching vows as a symbol of their shared commitment. Others appreciate the chance to speak from their personal perspective with unique bride and groom vows.
As you discuss vow options with your partner, think about what would feel most meaningful to each of you. If opting for different bride and groom vows, I recommend maintaining a similar style and tone. For example, one spouse's funny quip might seem out of place alongside an emotional tribute from the other.
Wedding Vow Examples and Templates
Reading sample wedding ceremony vows can help spark inspiration for your own. Here are a few examples of classic and contemporary wording:
Traditional Vows
I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part.
Religious Vows
I, ____, take thee, ____, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, according to God's holy law, and thereto I give thee my troth.
Literary Vows
I promise to be your navigator, consoler, sidekick, and friend, your partner in parenthood, your accomplice in mischief, your student and your teacher, your consolation in disappointment, your ally in conflict, your greatest fan and your toughest adversary, your comrade in adventure, your student of the stars, and your companion in life’s surprises. All that I am and all that I have is yours, now and forever.
Wedding Vows About Love and Partnership
I promise to walk by your side, to love, encourage, and cherish you. I vow to appreciate and admire you for who you are, and who you want to become. Though our paths may change, I pledge to always be there for you with compassion and care, through life’s ups and downs. My heart is yours, now and forevermore.
Funny Wedding Vows
I take you to be my partner in crime and pranks, to have and to hold all our inside jokes, from this day forward, even when we’re old and grey. I promise to always make you laugh and to be your partner in adventure, even if our adventures only lead us to the couch or the kitchen. I vow to enjoy life’s surprises together and appreciate you for the wonderful weirdo you are.
Poetic Vows
My soul found its match in you, and today I vow to honour that bond. I promise to nurture our love with kindness, understanding, and empathy. You are my heart, my hope, and my home.
As you read through various wedding ceremony vow examples, select any phrases or concepts that resonate with you. Use these as inspiration to craft vows infused with your unique perspective and love story.
How to Write Meaningful Wedding Vows
When writing your own wedding ceremony vows, here are my top tips for making them meaningful:
Focus on your promises and hopes for the marriage rather than the history of your relationship. Vows look ahead to the future union you’re creating together.
Keep your partner and wedding guests in mind. Make sure your vows feel authentic to you while also honouring your commitment to your spouse.
Choose succinct, heartfelt wording over long monologues. Your officiant will repeat after you line-by-line, so shorter phrases work better.
Avoid inside jokes or vague references that guests won’t understand. Strike a balance between light-hearted personality and universally accessible sentiments.
Express your vows in positive language. For example, say “I will lift you up” rather than “I won’t let you down.”
Read your vows aloud multiple times to refine the wording. Edit thoughtfully to highlight your most meaningful promises.
Consider including cultural, religious, or family traditions important to you. But avoid anything that doesn’t feel like an authentic expression.
Helpful Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows
Here are some additional pointers to make the vow writing process feel more manageable:
Set aside quiet time to brainstorm meaningful promises and reflections about your relationship.
Share rough drafts with each other and offer thoughtful feedback. Don’t be afraid to lovingly challenge one another.
If you’re stumped, ask a close friend who knows you both well for vow ideas.
Write your vows by hand first before typing up a final draft. Handwriting can feel more personal.
Time your delivery out loud to ensure your vows fall within a reasonable length. One to two minutes is usually sufficient.
Consider working with a trusted wedding officiant to review your vow drafts and provide guidance. Their experience can be invaluable.
Including Readings in Your Wedding Ceremony
In addition to exchanging vows, many couples choose to incorporate readings into their ceremony. Poems, passages from literature, religious texts, song lyrics, or loving words written by a friend or family member can all add another layer of meaning and personalisation.
Readings complement your vows nicely when selected thoughtfully. Try picking selections that speak to:
Your love story or how you feel about your partner
Your shared values and beliefs about marriage
Hope and guidance for the journey ahead
Work with your officiant to seamlessly blend any readings into your ceremony flow. Appointing bridesmaids, groomsmen, or loved ones to do readings aloud can be a nice way to include them in the ritual.
Just like your vows, take care to pick wedding ceremony readings that feel aligned with who you and your partner truly are as a couple. The right words will reaffirm the essence of your relationship and commitment.
Conclusion:
I still get emotional every time I hear a couple exchange heartfelt vows. There is immense power in ritualising these verbal commitments in front of your guests.
Your wedding vows represent a sacred promise and the start of an exciting new chapter. By crafting meaningful words together, you focus on the joy and vulnerability of what lies ahead.
I wish you the very best as you begin this journey of writing the most important words you’ll ever say.
At Ceremonies by Simon, I'm honoured to guide couples through the ceremony planning process from start to finish. Please reach out if you need any advice or support around crafting personalised vows. I'm here to help craft and officiate a one-of-a-kind ceremony that authentically celebrates your love.